Radio Free Europe

In Sweden the elites debate what is important to them (HT, Instapundit). The public has other priorities, of course. The same would be true in the USA, but because of the free market, we have what I call the counter media. The Murdoch empire, conservative/libertarian/contrarian blogs and talk radio fill the void created by a craven MSM. So, while publications seen only in dentist offices display their pieties and priorities, talk radio and the blogosphere worry about topics the MSM would rather not deal with or in a different manner than the MSM cares for. The most glaring one is illegal immigration. Except for the war, this is the topic that dominates talk radio. It affects flyover country and the working class far more (and far more negatively) than it does those ensconced in red brick buildings in Cambridge, K Street offices and glass towers in Manhattan and LA, . No wonder why the influence of the MSM is imploding. That and the MSM is staffed by bozos.

Back to Europe which could use a Rush Limbaugh… seriously. Take the UK. The most powerful media institution in the UK is the BBC- a tax fed a liberal monoculture staffed by ‘Grauniad’ reading commuters. And they drive the debate as they wish, ignoring inconvenient opinions. What if, instead there was a talk show host who aimed for, well, the Daily Mail readership (I know the DM’s rep, but work with me on this one). Maybe they’d start talking about things the BBC would rather ignore or downplay.

Of course that would never happen. The media elites believe the need to control the debate. For the greater good, of course. Give the working class a media platform unsupervised by their betters, they’ll store coal in it. Besides, look at America. The country took a very large rightward tilt when Punch Sulzberger and Walter Cronkite stopped controlling the discussion and that horrible Rush Limbaugh and his ilk came forth. At least Congress seems to be wisely reconsidering.

Potter and Me

At first I did not care for Harry Potter. I saw the movie version of Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone and was unimpressed. I was in the audience at the Hugos at the Philly Worldcon in 2001 when Goblet won best novel and people seethed. I was disappointed, I admit.

Then I caught The Chamber of Secrets on HBO. "Cool. A basilisk. Not a bad idea." Since book 5 was coming out, I decided to start reading them in order.

Fast forward to the present. Tonight, I am attending Pandemonium Hogwarts Alumni, I am the prosecutor in the mock trial of Severus Snape.

(Spoilers for Half Blood Prince below)

OPENING
My Lords and Ladies, this session of the Wizengamot has been convened for the most serious… the most heinous breach of the Wizarding peace in nearly a generation: the murder of Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The accused, whom we are trying in absentia, is Professor Severus Snape, a teacher at Hogwarts. A man who was trusted not only by the deceased, but by every witch, wizard and Muggle who sent a child to Hogwarts. Snape profoundly betrayed that trust with the crime of murder.
What is murder? Murder is the unlawful killing of another with malice aforethought and without justification or excuse. The great Muggle Jurist, Sir William Blackstone described it as…

The crime of deliberate and willful murder; a crime at which human nature starts…

Let us break the definition down to its component parts. Unlawful: A soldier who shoots the enemy in combat, the auror who uses deadly force against a dangerous dark wizard and the executioner who flicks the switch are all killers, but morality aside, they have a legal authority to kill.
Killing of another: self explanatory.
Justification: Killings in self defense or the defense of others fall into this category. Deadly force is justifiable when the actor reasonably believes that deadly force is going to be used.
Excuse encompasses mental deficiency, insanity, lack of volition or the absence of intent. An inattentive muggle automobile operator or an errant potion brewer can kill. Though they may be negligent and otherwise culpable of manslaughter, their crime is involuntary manslaughter. Voluntary manslaughter is a killing in a sudden heat of passion, such as a man who catches his wife with her lover and, in a rage, slays them.
And now, we reach the crux of this trial, the state of mind: malice. Blackstone describes malice as…

…not so properly spite or malevolence to the deceased in particular, as any evil design in general; the dictate of a wicked, depraved, and malignant heart.

The modern legal definition of malice requires any one of four factors.
• Intent to kill
• Intent to do serious bodily harm
• Highly reckless or depraved heart… in other words, a high disregard or contempt for human life.
• Lastly, not that it matters here, a killing occurring in the course of five following felonies: burglary, robbery, kidnapping, rape or arson.

The Ministry will expose Snape’s wicked, depraved and malignant heart. We will show his intent to kill and how it became the foul deed. We will present testimonial evidence showing Severus Snape knew of a plot by Our Enemy to use a student at Hogwarts to kill Albus Dmbledore. We will show he attempted to aid and abet the plot. We will prove that when the plan was executed, Snape voluntarily joined a Death Eater assassination squad smuggled into Hogwarts. And when our foe's hand picked executioner lost his nerve, Severus Snape used the killing curse on the man who was his mentor.
This, my Lords and Ladies is the very definition of murder.
You have a grave responsibility: to examine the evidence closely. And there is one inevitable conclusion; that Severus Snape murdered Albus Dumbledore in cold blood.

CLOSING
My Lords and Ladies, our hard duty is near completion. But the hardest part of your task- judging and deciding- lies ahead.
The learned counsel for the defense has, I must admit, presented an interesting philosophical question. Such lovely speculation is more suited for the hallowed halls of academia than the courtroom.
This court does not deal with such philosophy. This court deals with facts. The basic facts are undisputed.
First, the summer prior, Severus Snape volunteered to join the plot to assassinate Albus Dumbledore. More than that, he willingly and voluntarily took the Unbreakable Vow, obligating him to carry out the bloody deed should the intended assassin, Draco Malfoy, have failed.
Second, that during the school year, Snape repeatedly offered aid and advice to Malfoy in his evil mission. Harry Potter overheard the two arguing about this subject during a Christmas party.
Thirdly, that when a coterie of Death Eater terrorists entered Hogwarts, and cornered an already weakened Dumbledore, our enemy's hand picked executioner, Draco Malfoy faltered. He looked his intended victim in the eye and civilization took over. Morality and conscience cooled hot homicidal blood. Draco Malfoy was not a murderer.
But the defendant, Severus Snape was.
• Severus Snape climbed to the top of the Astronomy Tower.
• Severus Snape saw the tableau: the Death Eaters, Draco Malfoy, paralyzed with indecision and Albus Dumbledore helpless, wandless and ill.
• Severus Snape raised his wand.
• Severus Snape looked Albus Dumbledore in the eye.
• Severus Snape said two words and snuffed Albus Dumbledore’s life.
In front of a half dozen witnesses. The two of whom whose testimony we have heard saw the man daily for nearly six years.
Recall the definition of murder we started with? Let’s review.
• Unlawful? Certainly.
• Killing of another? Not even disputed.
• Wuthout justification? Snape could have refused the Unbreakable Vow. He placed himself in peril to be in good standing with his Death Eater peers.
• Without excuse? No passion. No lack of intent. No indication of clinical insanity or the Imperius Curse. And as we are discussing a Hogwarts professor and a master of potion brewing and dark arts, we don’t need to discuss lack of capacity. This was murder in cold blood.
• Malice Aforethought? How else can one use the killing curse? Who can say ADAVERA KEDAVERA without intent and a wicked, depraved, and malignant heart.
And all this was voluntary. Snape was not coerced into taking the Unbreakable Vow. Learned counsel for the defendant has again spun a fascinating theory. But let us use Occam’s Razor to interpret the events. ‘Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity,’ or to rephrase, ‘the simplest solution tends to be the best.’ Instead of a convoluted fantasy of noble sacrifice, we have the brutal truth. Severus Snape, a former Death Eater and double agent showed the world his true colors when he murdered Albus Dumbledore. There is no direct evidence to support the defendant’s theory of the case, and there is considerable motive in the defendant’s part.
My Lords and Ladies. The evidence presented is overwhelming. Rarely has such a clear case been presented. The defendant is unquestionably guilty. He performed this deed willingly. I know it. You know it. The counsel for the defendant knows it too, though she disagrees in interpretation and motive. Most of all, Severus Snape knows it. That is why he has fled with the Death Eaters. Back to his true master.
There is a tale of the great American Muggle jurist, Oliver Wendell Holmes. As he was climbing into a carriage, his fellow judge, Learned Hand, said, “Do justice, sir. Do justice.” Holmes ordered the carriage to be stopped. "That is not my job," he said. "It is my job to apply the law."
In this case, to apply the law is to do justice. For there is one person in this sordid tale who can not speak for himself. Not Snape, whose absence from these proceedings is an admission of guilt. Unlike the defendant, he is not hiding. He is mute because Severus Snape silenced him. Forever.
Do justice for Albus Dumbledore. Apply the law. Find Severus Snape guilty of murder. Thank you.

SENTENCING
How sharper than a serpent's tooth was such betrayal. And with this act, Severus Snape betrayed us all He betrayed the trust of our society. He betrayed every student at Hogwarts and their parents. He betrayed his fellow teachers and staff. And most unforgivably of all, he betrayed Albus Dumbledore, the man who stood up before this very body to vouch that Severus Snape was no Death Eater.
Dumbledore’s trust was his Achilles Heel. But that was typical of the man, the greatest and noblest of us. All who passed through Hogwarts were touched by his kindness and understanding. All that wisdom gone forever.
Dante placed traitors in the 9th Circle of Hell. Well, all the flames of Hades are not hot enough for this betrayer and murderer. We thought he came in from the cold. But society embraced a serpent to her bosom.
I started with Blackstone. I will end with Blackstone. He notes that murder was universally punished by death and that the King of England himself could not pardon a murder properly convicted. He then quotes the Bible. Numbers. Chapter 35: verse 31.
Moreover ye shall take no satisfaction for the life of a murderer, which is guilty of death: but he shall be surely put to death.
I take no satisfaction, in the modern meaning in calling for Snape’s execution. But, my Lords and Ladies, he brutally and foully took the best of our society from us. There is but one just punishment.
Do justice.
Sentence Snape to death.

Counsel for the defense is going with a 'heroic sacrifice' theory. Like in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, or The Last Temptation of Christ. Does that mean we'll have Bertie Bott's Communion Wafers?

Update: They ac quited him. Typical fangirls.

Book 7 is the best of the series and a wonderful and fitting climax.

Beach Blanket Blogging

I'm writing this blog post on my new Palm Treo while on a beach on the southern coast of Cape Cod. I am literally on a beach blanket. The water is nice and it's sunny, though with a stiff breeze.
It's not all blogging. I snorkled. To me snorkeling is the best part of beach going. Today I saw a huge spider crab and a striped bass over a foot long. I also flew kites with my nieces.
Obviously this post will be edited once I am back at my desktop.

This post is completely insignificant, but the point is that I CAN do it.

Carr Jumps Sinking Ship

The big news in Boston media has to be Howie Carr trying to end his contract with WRKO and defect to WTTK. Carr, is WRKO's afternoon drive time host and a Herald columnist. He's an influential figure in Boston politics and a strong right of center maverick in the bluer-than-blue Commonwealth. In a sense this dustup is not really surprising. When I met him at a function/signing for The Brothers Bulger, I asked him what was going on with WRKO. He shook his head at the station management.

First they hired Tom Finneran, the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives. Carr loathes Finneran with a passion, calling him 'Tommy Taxes' and 'Felon Finneran.' Finneran reciprocated, while joking with Governor Deval Patrick, suggesting the proverbial one way trip for Carr. Their relationship has not improved since.

The other problem is that Carr is on in the afternoon drive time slot. But, starting this year WRKO broadcasts some Red Sox games, often preempting Carr's program. While conservative hsts (Limbaugh, Savage and Jerry Doyle) take up much of WRKO's airtime, schedule and lineup changes seem to indicate a management team uncomfortable with portwise personalities.

Today, and for much of this week, Carr has had guest hosts subbing in for him. Frankly they're not as adept a radio host as he is. Even if Carr can be lazy, going to a familiar routine of topics (immigration; 'hacks;' Kennedy bashing; bad beers of yore; and who on TV would you like to see naked), he is good with both banter and monologue. He is skilled with callers and guests.

Ironically, should Carr go to WTTK, he will occupy Don Imus's former timeslot. Carr's wife sued Imus for slander after Imus described an obscene scenario involving her and boxer Riddick Bowe. Imus was egged on by Mike Barnicle, another Carr foe whose disgrace and failings Carr enjoys repeating. One thing for sure. Carr can be cheerfully vindictive. He may very well get his ratings
revenge.

Tie Die?

          Time and tie wait for no man. The necktie's demise is something I have been observing for a while with some mixed emotions. The only occasions these days where I wear ties is when I appear in court or attending religious services or important family functions (Like the post Bar-Mitzvah parties). Growing up, I was an alienated youth at a school that had a sports jacket and necktie dress code. I have worn neckties to fruitless interviews and pointless job fairs. It will come as no surprise that I loathe wearing them. Of course, the fact that I have a thick neck (in proportion to my skull) did not help. They're uncomfortable and occasionally unwieldy. Sometimes, they can even be dangerous. Why do you think EMTs always loosen the ties immedeately?


          But the flip side is that, yes, men do look good in ties. Look at the photos of the days when ties were de rigeur even in situations that today are considered casual (a baseball game, for example). Turn on ESPN today and see the way folks are dressed now and it makes you wince. Don't get me wrong. Dress casual is great. But sometimes, even I am glad to wear the monkey suit and cloth noose.

Return of the Native

          I had, let's be blunt, abandoned this blog for a while. I had a new job and lost myself in it. (The fact that I had a brutal commute helped in that decision). But, for better or for worse, I am back.
          I've had some changes in my life, though at times, I feel as if I am stuck in amber, never making progress. Just like life, eh?
          Part of the reason I've not been talking or writing, lately. Politics has been depressing. The odious (Chavez, Mugabe, Ahmadinejad and Olberman) are ascendent. The Left's never ending assault on those with whom they disagree is bad enough. What is sickening is their Neville Chamberlain instincts, joining with forces that are antithetical to everything they claim to hold dear, just so they can defeat someone at the polls they would not want to invite to their cocktail parties.
          And Bush on the Congressional GOP pissed away many of his advantages too. Granted, much of it was not their fault. Katrina the incompetence of Democrat officials were recast as Republican malignancy. Of course they've had self inflicted wounds (pork and immigration).
          As for the War, if Bush did not invade Iraq, he'd still be assailed for actions real and imagined Afghanistan. Iraq is a necessary theater in the war against Islamic terror. And unlike the wars against nation states and their uniformed militaries, it won't be won with the speed of an advancing army. It's going to be long, slow and tedious. It means that we're going to have to return to territory reconquered. It means diplomacy and thoroughness. It means seemingly endless casualty lists and bombing against Iraqi civilians.
          Of course, defeat will mean a genuine, massive genocidal war will erupt in Iraq that will make these vicious little skirmishes pale in comparison.
          Well, nobody said it would be easy. Except for people trying to put words in Bush's mouth. But then that's part of the game.

UH, YEAH. WHERE WAS I?

          I make no excuse for the lack of posts. Well, beyond the fact that I have a new job and qualifying for it kept me busy. Then there was the fact that I am unsure how much to discuss about it.. But I suppose I can at least say this much. I am a bar advocate and I work out of a District Court in the central part of the Bay State.

GO ME!!!

DANE GELDED

         
Europe sucks. Let's face it; the best of their stock was destroyed in the trenches of the Western front, the ghettos, KZs and the Gulags. What was left now lives in the Anglosphere or Israel. Sure Eastern Europe seems to have a handful of sane left. But the rest seems to be determined to welcome dhiminitude. First came the disgraceful reactions to the Mohamed cartoons.


          The FIRST reaction should have been a stauch defense of the Western ideals of freedom of speech. Instead, there was hang-wringing by the multi-cults.

          Now comes the travials of MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali. So she lied to get in. How many literally calling for her head can survive a background check? Hirsi Ali is the second most famous woman in the history of the Kingdom of the Netherlands. She has some factors in common with the most famous one: both were immigrants and not ethnically Dutch. And both have been betrayed by the Dutch to satiate the barbaric desires of homicidal hordes. I hope that Minister Hirsi Ali ends up better off than that other famous woman I alluded too.


          The darkness is engulfing Belgium. Like the tourists who bought baby alligators in the 50s, Europe brought Islamic populations in thinking them harmless. But like the gators, the populations grew. And they have teeth and muscles.


          'Just some cheap labor.' And there is nothing more expensive than cheap labor. Especially cheap labor who has not been encouraged or allowed to assimilate and is stewing angrily in ghettos. *


          More dangerously, the multi-cults see them as political allies. So they're willing to sacrifice a few luxuries to appease them. Minor things like free speech, women's rights (or at least poor women's rights), safe streets and the Jewish community. So they pay the metaphorical Dane-Geld. And that only encourages the metaphorical Dane. This is at the expense of the real Danes.

 

 

 

 

  *Yeah, I'll get to Bush's speech tonight.

OPEN LETTER TO CBS NEWS

         
Sirs, for the first time in years I watched the CBS evening news and was unsurprised, but appalled at the snow job you put up. You failed to answer many of the major points brought up at Powerline.com, littlegreefootballs.com and other blogs. Why should these documents come out almost perfectly in the DEFAULT settings of Word? Why are there ‘curly quotes,’ precise centering and alignment of letters? Why use a font almost unknown and not used with the superscript typewriters The questions as to the addressees used were also unanswered. The fact that most of your shoddy defense focused on the sleazy allegations made by outright Kerry supports only strengthens the dubiousness of the claims.


         
I am but one of the many viewers you have lost to Fox News and the Internet. That shabby display only re-enforces my resolve and I will boycott CBS until you correct the error.

LIVEBLOGGING FROM THE CONVENTION!

          Yes, I am liveblogging from a convention.... no, not that thing in Manhattan. I am blogging from Noreascon 4, the 62nd World Science Fiction convention and it's here in Boston! So far it's a blast, thought I've been running around madly and late to most everything. I will be doing a talk on sports and SF. Anyhow, i'll report. Really!

THE INTIFADA IS IN ITS DEATH THROES!

          For the schadenfreude lovers out there, check out this grim assessment from an undisclosed location somewhere in Yassir's anarchy theme park...

It's not so much what Zakariya Zubeidi, the fugitive leader of the West Bank Aksa Martyrs Brigades, says, but how he says it. Zubeidi speaks in the vacant tones of a ghost.           And four years after he first picked up a rifle, this peace-activist-turned-local-hero-and-killer eulogized the Palestinian intifada in words similar to those in which he described himself.           "The intifada is in its death throes. These are the final stages - this I can confirm," he said on Wednesday.

          "They sought to destroy Israeli society. They only destroyed their own. Dimwits.



          "Money quote...

"Not only was the intifada a failure, but we are a total failure. We achieved nothing in 50 years of struggle; we've achieved only our survival."

          Of course, the Pals, like the Bourbons forget nothing and learn nothing.

Asked if he intends to trade in his M16 for a briefcase, Zubeidi, who sees himself as a Robin Hood, responded that "such a path is not currently ordained for a man likely to be killed."

          Still, it's good news. Maybe after failing with violence for over half a century, they will try actual negotiation and comprimise.

"It is a double-edged dagger," said Zubeidi contemplatively. "If we give up, then we live a life of humiliation. But to keep fighting – it only brings destruction."

GHOULS AND DOLLS

          Death Pool update: It's not good (from my perspective, that is). Only 3 out of the roster of 15- Ronald Reagan (the most popular pick), Allistair Cooke (two others had him as well) and Francis Crick (a solo shot), have earned points. Ah well. That's life; or rather the lack therof!

OH, BY THE WAY.

          I PASSED THE BAR! WOO! I'M A SHYSTER! WOO!

GEE, WHERE WAS I?

          This long absence from blogging is embarrassing and frankly inexcusable on my part. Suffice it to say inertia took over.

          Sadly, I look through my notes and see a mention of a hate crimes panel sponsored by the CJP which l I attended- but never wrote about as well as discussion of Tillman and the two NFL players who earned Medals of Honor: Maurice Britt and Jack Lummus. I also had notes on Saddam's capture, including this filk.

          I do owe you my poverty/pathology essay, wherein I propose a new term to describe the status of being poor and dysfunctional: 'Patharty,' or pathological poverty. Also I need to find a George Will essay so I can explain why Californians who learn nothing are making Arizona more liberal. I do owe you an explanation as to my cryptic remark why video games prove Eurabia is coming.

          So, why my return? Well, I was attending a National Review sponsored party at Doyle's in the Jamaica Plain Neighborhood. Of course I wanted to meet the Corner gang. In addition to meeting Ramesh, Jonah, Rich and Katie, I also met some local bloggers. One was the poor bastard who is the token conservative on the Weekly Dig- which is like The Village Voice put together in a dorm room where the bong fumes are so thick they obscure the Che posters. Another attendee was Cantabrigian libertarian Steven Jens.

          Anyhow, when I mentioned my name, while introducing myself to some of the attendees and someone recognized it- from the comments on Tim Blair's blog. He also mentioned that it had not been updated since 2003. Big oops.

          About the convention: I have been largely avoiding the DNC footprint. I eschewed downtown during the event- paranoid visions of tear gas and molotov cocktails danced in my mind. Thankfully I was wrong. Indeed, around 2 PM Thursday I was able to drive from Storrow Drive to I-93 southbound in astonishingly little time (For non-Bostonians, Storrow Drive is the generally congested road along the Charles River. I-93, the focus of the 'Big Dig,' is perpetually congested. Both are notorious in a metropolis filled with choke points). Earlier I was in an astonishingly uncrowded Harvard Square. I chatted with some merchants who described the situation as 'quiet.' But the lack of the thronging crowds were eerily reminiscent of Evangelion, an anime that takes place after a catastrophe decimated mankind. As Howie Carr noted, everyone who could flee, has.

          It's not merely north of the Charles, either. Instead of helping local businesses, the convention- with its attendees eating free food at lobbyist parties whilst safely ensconced in their security cocoon is actually harming downtown.

Around Boston, businesses anticipating a boost from the Democratic National Convention were left to stew in the disappointment of streets emptied by warnings about highway closures, rail line disruptions and huge crowds of outsiders.

          Mayor Menino, having been rescued from humiliating 'information lines' by Governor Romney, is undoubtedly less than thrilled with Kerry's high handedness and the detrimental effects of the convention. He is not alone in his anger. At a recent family gathering more than one person snarled about the convention center in South Boston. This white elephant, originally meant for the DNC, is not being used, though Romney suggested it. (There were fears during planning that it would not be completed in time. Though ready, the networks vetoed any use because of camera angle issues. Thanks, Dan, Tom, Peter.) If it were in Southie, there would have been MUCH less impact on the Hub's easily impacted thoroughfares. Additionally, the security would probably end up uncovering the rest of Whitey's death pits.

          Hopefully this disgruntlement will turn into something tangible. Massachusetts is politically odd, but not inexplicably so. Like a labor union, our political overclass is far to the left of most of the electorate, with one notable exception that will be discussed shortly. While many seem to believe that the Democrats and their veto proof majority are detrimental, they never hold their representative rouge accountable, if they even know or vote for the wretch. Of course the state Republicans barely fields any candidates, even for the U.S. Senate race in 2002 against... John Kerry. The one exception is the Governorship- the corner office. (Massachusetts has no governor's mansion.) No matter how much we like our guy, we want at least one break on the rest of the lot.

          However, this convention, held not in the patronage pit built for it, but in the arena abutting the mess from the seemingly endless construction, thus adding further to the chaos, will hopefully cause the voters to consider accountability regarding the party responsible for the building blocks of the fiasco- even if pepper spray did not waft through riot-torn downtown.

          Heck, it's only the second most important convention in Boston this year!

BUSTARDS AND BASTARDS

        Interesting Globe article about friction between the petro plutocracts who travel to Pakistan to hunt the houbara bustard and the local tribesmen who are, prickly at their best. At their worst... well, remember this?

        Brings to mind Wilde's quip about fox hunting, "The unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable." Or considering how egregious both sides are, maybe Kissenger's quip on the Iran/Iraq war that it was a shame they could not both lose.

        Anyhow, the oil barons seem to continue the Arab tradition of abusing hospitality and trying to take over for themselves. In Afghanistan, the Arabs of Al-Qaida treated the Taliban as second class terrorists. In Europe (Most of the article requires a subscription, but, according to Peretz, "In Belgium, they already want Arabic as a national language." And let's not forget the Israel.

        The West is damned for its colonialism, imperialism and expansionism. But these days, they are not the most egregious practitioners of such sins.

ANOTHER ONE TO BITE THE DUST

        Death pool substitution on my roster. Bob Dole is out. Replacing his is Joseph Barbera the master of mediocre animation who bears a great deal of responsibility for much of my mis-spent youth.

From Milan, to Yucatan/ Every Woman and Every Man

        I'm back. The tan and magartia hangovers are fading. Just going to post a few quickies before my New Year's eve date.

Weather is here. Wish you were beautiful

        I am taking this opportunity to report live from the Riviera Maya south of Cancun. Rest, assured, gentle readers that your obedient servant is doing more than snorkeling, overeating, buying kitsch, visiting ancient ruins, tanning, sipping tropical cocktails and slamming tequila shooters.

        Really.

        Future updates will include thoughts on cultural imperialism, the Mayan achievements, Lord of the Ring refs, the usefulness of high school Spanish and why the word poverty does not describe the pathologies of the underclass. Now for more Xtabentun!

        ¡Camarero, en me sopa es un mosco! ¿Mosca? ¿Es feminina? ¡Qué buenos ojos!

TWO TRIVIALITIES

1. Yes, I saw Return of the King. For a movie 210 minutes long, moved quickly. A bench warrant has been issued for John Rhys-Davies
   for stealing every scene he was in.
   
   
2. I will be on vacation in Mexico next week. When I return, I'll discuss the film and my speculation about the relationship between videogame sales and European decay.
   

DEATH BE NOT PROUD!

        The ghouls at Amish Tech Support continue their loathsome tradition of the death pool. Being the merrily morbid sort, I joined in. Here are my fifteen choices and the reasoning behind them.

1. Yassir Arafat: The Chairman of the Board among those I hope and expect who will soon be stiff as a board. What can I say about the man? Well, plenty, but mom may be reading. At 74 his body is as rotten as his soul and no matter how many baby wipes the man has, being cornered like the rat he is, thanks to the Tzahal, is quite stressful
   
   
2. King Fahd bin Abdul Aziz of Saudi Arabia: Vegetables spoil eventually. Robert Baer has a creepy description of how far gone that potentate is. Not that it matters much to the kleptocrats of the House of Sod. His brain can be tapioca, so long as his heart beats.
   
   
3. Ronald Reagan: Much the same theory as Fahd of Sod. Apparently the end is nigh for the Great Communicator. The difference is that I will mourn Ronnie's passing.
   
   
4. Glen Campbell: He's 67 years old and still living hard. His liver can't last much longer.
   
   
5. Jay Zeamer: This is one of those, "I hate myself for choosing him. I hope that I am wrong!" types of picks. As Richard Burton said in The Longest Day, "The thing that's always worried me about being one of the few is the way we keep on getting fewer." The 85 year old Major Zeamer is the last surviving Army Air Corps Medal of Honor recipient.
   
   
6. Slingin' Sammy Baugh: Arguably the
   greatest player in the history of the NFL. Like Zeamer, he is the last survivor of his elite class- NFL Hall of Fame charter enshrinees. Though still spry, he is 89 years old and all those tackles do add up after a while.
   
   
7. Mike Wallace, : (The fossil journalist not the NASCAR driver).
   To give you an idea how old Wallace is, he pitched cancer sticks on the idiot box. He was already an established journalist when he went over to TV... in 1951!
   
   
8. Fay Wray: That delicate satin draped frame.
   
   
9. George Habash: So much for the "I'd rather you not die, but you're no spring chickens and I want someone the other ghouls probably haven't picked" choices. Habash, another doddering terrorist, is in my "DIE YOU FILTHY BASTARD, DIE! " catergory. At 78, he may be a bit young to be a great pick, but Palestinian terror leaders tend to have a short life span. And I doubt Yassir would appreciate any competition, especially from a Christian born wannabe, even if he is allegedly retired.
   
   I'm claiming Habash as my commie, BTW. Anyone names his murderous terror troupe 'Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine,' is redder than steak tartare.
   
   
10. Bob Dole: Decorum forbids Viagra quips.
    
    
11. Francis Crick: Yep. Trying to get the Nobel laureate. However it's Watson whose death seems to be awaited eagerly.
    
    
12. Ray Bradbury: Please let me be wrong about this one. But he's another legend who has been around forever and the final curtain is very likely to end his long run sooner than I'd want.
    
    
13. Alistair Cooke: Cooke is best known in the UK as their quasi-anthropologist among the colonials. The USAians remember him as the classy Brit who hosted Masterpiece Theater for two decades.
    
    
14. Joey Bishop: The last of the last. The least flamboyant Rat Packer is the last one standing!
    
    
15. Max Schmeling: The Black Uhlan of the Rhine not only outlived most of his opponents, he probably outlived his sport.